How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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