U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
