ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
