theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
