but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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