he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
