I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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