your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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