Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
where am i from again
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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