4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
