Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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