i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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