Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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