i think my mom watched the whole time
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
