So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
farters have to be the big spoon...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
