Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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