You smell like stripper and shame
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
