Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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