Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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