elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
