Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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