what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
