Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
