the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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