I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
