omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
