Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You took a bar mat shot.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
