I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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