do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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