He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
