If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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