You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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