You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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