I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
