You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Sober January is a disaster.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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