I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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