haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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