Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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