Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dear god my vagina.
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