She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
