I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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