Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
