Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
