why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
