I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
