How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
