There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
