I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
