If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
