you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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