Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
