Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
