Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had to cum in my sink.
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