life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
