mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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