Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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